As you already know, I am the Dajjal. What you may not know, is that I filled your Heads with Lies about Martyr Heaven and Lesser Jihad. And as you went out, trying to conquer your enemies, I stayed behind and used my Magical Powers of Seduction, to Steal your Women! This way, I was able to steal Jannah for myself, while you idiots raged wars against each other.
You see, the Greatest Gift from Allah, was the gift of Free Will. And once you idiots started insisting upon slaying each other, I chose to stay behind. This way, I was able to genetically conquer the Entire World, and make all currently living Human Beings become my Children!
Fact is, “Our Heavenly Father” might not be God, that I know for sure, but you do have a Heavenly Father, and his name is the Dajjal, and I am him, in the Flesh!
I don’t mind you idiots exercising your Free Will! Not at all in fact! However, once you do, remember to send your Women and Children to me! I will take care of them, I promisssssssss …. 😉
Just remember, as I send your Woman back to you, with a couple of extra Children, that I swear upon my Immortal Soul that these Children are the Results of a Virgin Birth! And unless you are Willing to Treat them as Such, then you Shall Never See Jannah! For such are my Powers, and the extent of my Magic, that I was able to change into You, deceiving your Women to believe I was their Husband, while you slaughtered each other out in the desert, believing you were supposed to kill your Brothers to enter Heaven!
So by all means, enter the Lesser Jihad! Preferably All of You! That way, I can comfort All Your Women, while you perish out in the sands, never realizing the Truth, before it is too late!
And remember, as your last drop of Blood hit the Sands of the Deserts, outside of Harma Gideon, that YOU CHOSE THIS FOR YOURSELVES!